Welcome

Hello my name is Martina O’Riordan and I work at the National Suicide Research Foundation. Today I’m gong to talk to you about counselling for complicated grief. Our responses to death are as individual as we are. But there are some common reactions that many people experience, these include; shock, anger, denial and even guilt. It is important to remember that there are no right or wrong ways to grief, it is a process, one that reflects the individual’s personality, life experience, presence of a support network, coping style and so on. In some circumstances the bereaved person may continue to experience intense intrusive thoughts, sleep disturbance and strong feelings of isolation and emptiness, even a year after the death. In such instances we say that the person is experiencing a prolonged or a complicated grief reaction.

Complicated grief is more common in cases of sudden death, in particular, if the death has been due to suicide. Research suggests that relatives of those who have died by suicide are also more likely to experience family disruption and lack of social support. In therapy the client can be assisted to gain insight into their feelings and behaviours; to restructure their thoughts; to be guided through their emotional experience and to development more effective strategies or coping with their loss.

Therapeutic support for clients who are experiencing a complicated grief reaction includes supportive, psycho-educational and cognitive behavioural elements. This means that they are given information and helped to understand the situation along with their own reaction to it. at the same times they are equipped with the tools to move forward towards expectance of their loss. For example in cognitive behavioural therapy the therapist helps the client to identify and then challenge their unhelpful believes with a view to developing more positive ways of thinking. The client is then encouraged to reflect on how changes in our thinking affects our beliefs, our moods and even our physical reactions along with our behaviours. This can be particularly useful it the person is blaming themselves for their loss.

What is important however is that anyone who is experiencing a complicated grief reaction has the opportunity to avail of professional support. This includes young children, who would be confused by the experience and may become clingy or excessively fearful or anxious for the well-being of other family members as a result. Likewise teenagers, may become particularly withdrawn or may have difficultly concentrating on their school work. If the death has been that of a young person, the parents may experience marital conflict as a result of this sudden and very traumatic event in their life’s.

Availing of the support of a psychologist or a trained grief counsellor; can help all those affected by complicated grief reactions, to address their questioning, their confusion and all the emotions they may experience from shame to fear to anger.

This can be achieved in an age appropriate, sensitive and confidential manner through a number of a accredited agencies that are listed on this website.